Big Meeting Tonight....

Your Local Council has called an important meeting for this evening, beginning at 6 p.m.

We now flash ahead to the meeting:

The Mayor opens with some well chosen innocuous words guaranteed to offend neither the religious nor atheistic. God, like the Queen, makes no appearance in the blessing.

Council is then invited to deal initially with some minor administrative matters:

First - the 8% increase in transit fares. Passes unanimously.

Then, the 6 % increase in the cost of garbage collection. Again all vote in favour.

Next the 10% jump in the cost of city sports registration. This on top of the 9% increase the previous year. Again, it meets no objection.

Water and Sewer increases are successfully dealt with next - a big 11% jump due the "high cost of replacing worn out pipes".

Then it is on to increased costs for building permits, parking fines and the like.

Indeed, there seems to be no end to the need for various fee and permit increases.

By 9 p.m. Council reaches the main agenda item for the night's meeting - passing the coming year's Budget. The Mayor tables the Budget and notes with great pleasure the fact that it will hold the line at a 2.5 % increase, promised at the last election.

Council applauds and gives the Mayor a standing ovation. They then quickly resume their seats to vote unanimously on the Budget's adoption.

All then retire to a special reception put on specifically to celebrate the Budget victory. No expense is spared on these festivities.

At one point, the Mayor breaks away for a brief media Scrum.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Media I am pleased to advise that this Council has once again proven itself a good steward of public funds - we promised in the last election that we would hold spending at no more than 2.5 % and that is exactly what we have done. You can be proud of your elected officials."

And then it was back to the Soiree - the cost of which was only 14.5% higher than last year.

As I see it...

'K.D. Bell"